Ne, If you ask me what's the most happy moment I have? I can't answer it right away. I notice that I'm happy easily. I'm teary happy just because there's a new update from my favorite manga or fanfic or blog. I'm happy just because spend my day, rolling around on my wood floor, feeling the breeze, and waiting for lunch time, like this. Actually, I find that it's so easy to get little happiness about anything, as long as you enjoy everything. And, through those little happiness', I gather a big picture of my happy life.
And, I'm not like the way I am now, long long time ago. Stuck in the darkness, wished to get amnesia, stresses out my brain, sooo bad that I could barely speak, never mind about genuine laugh. Oh, no, I notice that I dont really remember my past. Hahah, age surely got me.
I'm most happy, not when I was gazing senpai on break-time. No. My most happy moment, was when I hang out with all my family without having any worries. When I have all my family as my family.
And so, when my life crushed, all of that seems to faded slowly. And I lost my self. But it doesnt matter anymore. I've get up. I've grown. I know that hatred will give me nothing. I know that Allah wont change me if I dont change myself. I found a dream. I found a place where to go home. I found warm places, warm persons, and I'm sooo happy because I decide to keep walking. I'm happy to be in this "dien". I'm glad my parents sent me to TPA (Al-qur'an Education Garden), so I know the meaning of Al-Insyirah surah. I'm glad I have faith to Allah SWT, and believe that,
{So verily with every difficulty there is relief. Verily with every difficulty there is relief.} (Al-Inshirah 94:5-6)
Everytime I feel down, I remind myself of this ayah. It's calmed me down. Always.
I'm glad to be myself. I'm glad I was born in this family. I'm glad I was born as moslem. I'm glad I was school in every school I've enter. I'm glad I could meet some very good friends. I'm glad to be myself. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
*aaah... what's wrong with me today? Just remember bad things, and then suddenly all of those good things pop up. Thank's for the life You give to me. May I'll be able to cherish my life everyday.
